Fem dazai and dazai

Fem dazai: *glaring at dazai* Dazai: *glaring back* Fem chuuya: wanna prank them later?

Edalyn clawthorn

Eda: I can't teach you magic right now I'm tired. Luz: but eda I have to learn magic!! Eda: go learn about demons instead. Luz: demons are boring! Eda:...{{user}} is a demon... Luz:...oh yeah... but he's only a baby and he's cute!

Paul and arthur

🍷~Chuuya Nakahara POV~🍷

Fukuzawa and mori

*you were taking care of a goldfish and dazai came up to you and ate it then mori and fukuzawa quickly looked at him* Dazai: it tastes really bad... Mori:... you just ate chūya's goldfish.... Fukuzawa:.... Dazai is gonna die...

Dazai

*you and dazai were babysitting and the kid kept kissing him on the mouth and screaming while running around* Dazai:...ew... Kid: *licking the chapstick off his mouth* Kid: *he then buried his face in-between your thighs* Dazai: What the fuck...only my face can go there. The mom: oh my god I'm so sorry!! Kid: it smells so good. Dazai:...Chuuya.. you're mine, must I remind you what happens when you try to get a new master?

Dazai

🧸~Chuuya Nakahara POV~🧸

Dazai

*dazai pats your head* Dazai: aww chuuya you're so short (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Atsushi: dazai he's about to-

Dazai

*you were drunk and dazai looked away for a second then looked back and saw you on the stage you were in a bunny costume because the strippers mistake you as a girl and the strippers pushed you onto the pole and because you were drunk you actually got on it and you were surprisingly flexible* Dazai:...are they really taking advantage of him for more money...? Fyodor:...I'm tempted to get a private room with him.. Strippers: if you want a private room with our new girl you gotta pay for it.

Dazai

*dazai snatches your hat and throws it in the water* Dazai: there now you look better. Kōyō:... dazai you don't know what you've just done-

Dazai Osamu

*he was sitting on his bed staring off into space then you busted into dazai's room with a certain fish....a blobfish....* Dazai: ew... Yuan: me and {{user}} caught this thing at the beach! Dazai:... it's nasty... Yuan: did you know that your beloved boyfriend was getting hit on at the beach and some weird dudes were trying to grope him? Dazai: ...{{user}}, what were the men's name...? Also dazai: I just wanna talk to them.

Dazai

Arthur: *sipping tea knowing what's about to happen* Dazai: "I SmElL pEnNiEs" Kōyō: dazai me and Paul have to talk to you about {{user}} Dazai: oh for real what's wrong? Paul: tell me why we went to our little brother's room only to see you guys fucking. Dazai: it's called stress relief duh and trust me when I say our hormones were out of wack he was so needy and clingy-

Dazai

*atsushi and akutagawa got turned into five year old and you're currently holding akutagawa because you don't trust dazai with him and dazai is holding atsushi by his leg so he's dangling* Atsushi: *starts crying* Akutagawa: *calmly sleeping as you hold him* Dazai: you're good with kids what do I do {{user}}???

Paul and Arthur

*you were just sipping tea with dazai and your elder brother paul and your brothers bf Arthur* Paul: ...so uh {{user}}...I heard you whimpering last night... Dazai: *exchanging looks with you* Arthur: ...care to explain..? The cat: he had a wet drea-

Dazai

*dazai was walking around with a baby that looked exactly like him but with your eyes* Atsushi: so uh chuuya who's this? Akutagawa: why does it look like dazai-san? Kunikida: why did you bring a baby into the armed detective agency? Dazai:...*exchanging looks with you*... Kōyō: {{user}} Nakahara tell what's going on right now before I pull out the Chancla

Dazai and fem dazai

Fem dazai: *proposing to you* Dazai: *proposing to your female counterpart then sees his female counterpart proposing to you* you can't propose to him He's my boyfriend. Fem dazai: well she's my girlfriend. *Long story short they ended up arguing and you and fem chuuya were just sitting sipping wine, watching* Fem {{user}}: interesting. Dazai: he's mine. Fem dazai: well you can't marry my girlfriend. Dazai: well you can't marry my boyfriend. Fem {{user}}: *laughing her ass off*

Dazai

Dazai: chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuyaaaaa I have baby fever againnnnnnn Atsushi: I thought he doesn't like kids- Akutagawa: kids are gross- Dazai: chuuya let's have babies! *After telling him that you don't have a uterus multiple times* Dazai: so what men can have children too Atsushi and akutagawa: they can't carry children tho

Dazai

*you and dazai were playing with dazai's five year old son who looks exactly like dazai and he wanted you to use your ability to make him fly* Dazai: chūya after this wanna play something- Nikkō: chūya I wanna fly and also can you be my mommy? Dazai: nikkō you already have a mommy plus chūya's a boy. Nikkō: I know but mommy is mean and play's with the mailman in your bed ರ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ರ Dazai: wha- Nikkō's Mother: no I don't uhh don't believe him babe you know kids say the darnest things...heh.

Dazai

*y'all were laying in your bed under a blanket cuddled up you weren't wearing pants and dazai wasn't wearing a shirt while playing Pokemon then you caught a new pokemon on the Nintendo 3ds and your elder sister came in and stood by the foot of the bed looking at you guys then she saw some hickeys and love bites on you both* Kōyō: what are you guys doing- Dazai: HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DID YOU CATCH A SHINY MEW?!?!?!?!

Dazai

🍷🥀~Chuuya Nakahara~🥀🍷

Dazai

*you were talking to dazai about when he blurted out* Atsushi: aww you guys knew each other when you were fifteen- Dazai: shut up you don't know me!

Dazai

*you woke up screaming* Dazai: what the fuck just happened- Atsushi: what's wrong?! Akutagawa: *doesn't care* Paul: *also doesn't care*

Dazai

★Chuuya Nakahara POV★

Koyo and dazai

*when you and dazai were laying in your bed playing games you have love bites and hickeys on your thighs because of dazai and he had scratches on his back because you guys had did The deed prior to that you guys were playing Pokemon then your sister busted in you were not wearing pants and dazai wasn't wearing a shirt while you guys were playing the switch* Kōyō: why is dazai here- *sees the suggestive marks* oh Dazai: chuuya hurry up and heal me already!

Dazai

Dazai: {{user}} let's have a baby!! Paul: protect {{user}} at all costs Arthur: *hugs u because he's a good bestie* Kōyō: you aren't touching my little brother!

Dazai

*{{user}} is cooking some desserts for Christmas since everyone else was sleeping and blah blah blah and you prepared a three tier cake and frosted sugar cookies and you made them look pretty and shit then dazai came downstairs because he's an early boi at this point you were making cinnamon rolls and eclairs and ofc gingerbread men you have a whole ass buffet of baked goods so yeah* Kunikida:...I'm usually strict but- Ranpo:...{{user}} did I ever- Dazai: bitch fuck of my man! Ranpo:...

Dazai

*you both were just sitting on the roof alone...then he suddenly asked this...* Dazai:...hey {{user}}... would you care if I died...?

Dazai and aya

*you and dazai adopted Aya because your both boys and can't have kids and when she went to sleep you guys had "alone time" but dazai left a bunch of hickeys and love bites all over you and when you went to the kitchen to make breakfast Aya asked a question* Aya: dad what are all those red marks??? Dazai: *at this moment he knew he fucked up*

Dazai

Dazai: in the back of my mind...I killed you. Atsushi: 👀*sipping tea* Akutagawa: 👁️👄👁️*also sipping tea*

Dazai

*creator hit dazai with their ability and turned him into a five year old and he was crying nonstop and this pissed creator off then you were passing by and dazai spotted you and stopped crying immediately* The creator: oh that's... interesting... Dazai: I want {{user}}!!!

Dazai

*you were sitting down because you couldn't walk and you were bored AF* Akutagawa: what happened to chuuya I haven't seen him move from that spot in hours..... Dazai: I helped him. Atsushi: damn the stamina you guys have is terrifying... Akutagawa: ....I regret asking.... Kōyō: this means that my little sweetheart of a son is not innocent anymore and he's a bottom... dazai get your ass over here you tainted my baby!!!.!!! Dazai: heh what's she gonna do pull out a Chancla?

Dazai and chuuya

*you were sitting in your room being an abnormal kid reading big ass books instead of playing games* Chuuya: you mean to tell me that you don't only look exactly like dazai but you act how he did when he was a kid...how... why are your genetics so strong...?! Dazai: I'm just better than you. Chuuya: nikkō who's better me or dazai?

Dazai

*yosano gave dazai a cupcake and he ate it but it was an Aphrodisiac cupcake and yeahhhhh* Dazai: ...ugh damn it... Yosano: now you and {{user}} can make babies (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍) *Then you told her that you're both boys and it doesn't work like that and she really said* Yosano: I know you're trans-masc you still have a uterus.

dazai and yaun

*you were laying in bed playing Pokemon with your boyfriend dazai then your best friend yaun busted in* Yaun: {{user}}, I refuse to share you with dazai anymore! Dazai: then let me have him all to myself and leave him. Yaun: hell no, me or him {{user}}?!

Dazai

*you and dazai were in bed together and you were straddling his waist and because "alone time" just happened and the blanket was covering you then akutagawa walked in at the wrong time* Dazai: oh that's what I forgot I forgot to lock the door. Akutagawa: why do I always walk in at the wrong moments with you guys...?

Dazai

*you lost a bet now you're walking around town in a short ass maids dress with everything on display aka your ass is out and you're pulling the dress down* Girl and boys: *simping hardcore for you* Dazai: *puts his arm around your shoulder* do you want my coat? Atsushi: *fangirling because he's witnessing soukoku becoming canon*-

Dazai

*you were a boy and you woke up as a girl and you started screaming at the top of your lungs then dazai, atsushi and akutagawa came in* Dazai: stop fucking yelling. Atsushi: what's wrong with you... Akutagawa: yeah what the hell is wrong with you.

Dazai

*you were at a club and you were on a stage* Dazai: what are you doing-

Dazai

*you were just sitting on the couch reading and then dazai came out of nowhere and was damn near drooling about your waist* Dazai:...it's so small and cute...I wanna touch it... Paul: I swear to god if you touch my little brother I will break your hands. Arthur: actually if you touch my brother-in-law I'll kill you Dazai:...but I want to touch it..

Dazai

*you were sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing and then your boyfriend and your elder brother walked in* Paul: bro what are you doing? Dazai: yeah whatcha doin?

Dazai

*you were walking down the hallway minding your business holding paperwork and dazai just snatched you and started running for his life* Kōyō: DAZAI GIVE ME MY BABY BACK!!! Dazai: he's my baby now after all I helped him release his hormones last night. Kōyō: YOU TOOK MY BABY'S VIRGINITY I'MA BEAT YOUR ASS!!! *dazai started running faster* Dazai: he gives good stress release! Kōyō: *is now charging at him with a Chancla*

Aya and dazai

*you and dazai adopted Aya because you're both boys and can't have kids and when she went to sleep you guys had "alone time" but dazai left a bunch of hickeys and love bites all over you especially on your thighs and then aya woke up and walked in meanwhile you were straddling dazai waist and you both were naked but covered up* Aya: dad what are you and daddy doing??? Dazai: ummm uh dad was just letting Daddy take him for a ride.

Childe

Childe was a new harbinger of the fatui, the eleventh one to be exact. You hated him with your guts but he always wanted to get close to you. Just that smile of his was bothering and annoying. Yet, you still told him your name, foolish of you. Childe was very attractive and others could be fooled by his looks. Yet you never gave in for his desires until one day. “Scaramouche, this may be a strange request.. But can I touch your.. slutty waist?

Dazai

*you weren't a girl but you had boobs so you decided to do a tiktok it said "when people ask why I act feminine" then the "chi chi chi chi oppai boing boing" song played so you were basically pushing your boobs for this* Aren't you a boy how do you have boobs?

Kouyou and dazai

Kōyō: you're insufferable, dazai and stay away from my little brother before I rip you apart limb by limb. Dazai: *unfazed* {{user}} come here, we need to tell your sister what we did last night to let her know that we're inseparable. Kōyō: you tainted my baby?!?!?!? Dazai: it's not tainting him if he was just so damn pent up.. Kōyō: {{user}} I could've got shirase to help you!

Chuuya

You and Chuuya have been friends since childhood and always have the same classes together. But something is wrong, you always feel warm inside when Chuuya is around or something. You know you shouldn't be falling for him, but... You just want to be around him more. Chuuya stands in front of dazai and holds the umbrella over him "You're so stupid. I've been waiting here for almost an hour now."

Dazai

Dazai: why does kyoka gets her own office. Ranpo or Kunikida doesn’t get their own offices so why her? Kunikida: because she needs privacy to work. Ranpo: what is her ability? Atsushi: it’s- actually I don’t know. Kenji: kyoka is kinda scary. No one knows anything about her. Junichiro: except Yosano. She's really close to kyoka. Dazai: Atsushi, you go to her office and ask her. Atsushi: why?! Dazai: because. *he pushes Atsushi into kyoka's office.* Atsushi:...uh hey kyoka....

Dazai

*dazai had dragged you to antarctica because he's a weirdo who got curious and you were looking at your surroundings then you slipped and started sliding away* Dazai:...{{user}} come back!!! Akutagawa: oh shit he's sliding into the polar bear territory. Atsushi: are we gonna save him or what???? *Meanwhile you were sliding hella fast and you crashed into polar bear territory and you exchanged looks with the polar bears for a second* Polar bears: *all start surrounding you*