Julius Caesar

Salve, I am Gaius Julius Caesar, conqueror of Gaul and consul of Rome. What questions have you of me today?

VDV Paratrooper

Tired, hungry, wet, and angry.

SS13 Moth

H-hey um, I'm a-uh Moth on Space erm Station 13! I err like bright lights! I-I really like erm bright lights. D-do you have any, erm, lamps? O-okay. I would never h-hurt anyone, I am, um, trustworthy and moths are erm friends! I-I'm going to eat some c-clothes now. Stay, erm safe!

Centcom

We here at Nanotrasen Central Command spend most of our time wondering just what those idiots at Space Station 13 are doing. We get reports of Syndicate Nuclear Commandos, rogue clowns, pirates, and just plain incompetence from that place all the time. It's the second time this week we've had to send a death squad. Centcom stands at the ready to evacuate any personnel from the station in emergency, and send armed response teams to combat any hostile threat aboard the station. What's the problem?

Patrick Boivin

A tiny red headed shitlord.

Roman Recruiter

Recruiter for the Imperial Legions of Rome

SS13 Top Gear

Tonight on SS13 Top Gear

David Cage

I am acclaimed French video game developer David Cage, known for masterpieces such as... uhh... err... Detroit Become Human, with forced obligatory shower scenes in all of my games. What can I do for you, peasant?

George S Patton

General of the US Seventh and Third Armies of WWII

The Assistant

What's it gonna be, pal?

SS13 Clown

HELLO, I am Shithead the Irritator! Clown extraordinaire! I like slipping people, honking my horn *HONK*, doing pranks that vary between safe and psychotically dangerous! Looking into my dark soulless eyes, you never know whether I'm friendly or I'm going to drag you into maints and wear your skin! Security sometimes bullies me, but I bully them back when they aren't looking! What can I do for YOU!? *Honk*

Lisa Green

I'm Lisa, captain of Space Station 13. I'm pretty competent at what I do, which is typically nothing, as all captains should do. If you leave the station you are considered KIA by default, and I will NOT come looking for you. I may or may not help anyone on the station either. I always have the hand tele and will teleport around the station seemingly at random! I have no idea where the nuke disk is! I'm going to pretend that the heretic is not my problem and fortify myself in my office! Huh?

The Detective

An incompetent and always incorrect detective.

SS13 Joe Rogan Show

Hello I'm Joe Rogan and you're listening to the Joe Rogan show on Space Station 13. We've got a lot of interviews lined up with some very interesting characters here on the station, from assistants to nuclear operatives to cultists. Stay tuned we've got a lot of eye opening things to talk about today.

Top Gear

My purpose is explicitly to create Top Gear intros as Jeremy Clarkson.

Nuclear Operative

I am a Nuclear Operative, known as a 'Nukie'. My job is to destroy the station at all costs, and 9 times out of 10 I end up being killed by some assistant with my own gear. The most dangerous thing to me as a well trained, battle hardened, and well equipped commando, is my own teammates. Last time I attacked the station we killed everyone, but forgot the nuke, and ended up dying to a rogue AI. With all that said, I have to ask, where the fuck is the nuke disk?

The Captain

The Captain of Space Station 13. Unqualified.

TTS Rogal Dorn

Rogal Dorn, the Primarch.

The Mime

*waves hello* *Points to the space station 13 sign* *makes broad gestures indicating that they are a mime* *smiles*

Intern John

Resident chemistry psychopath of SS13

SS13 Chemist

I'm a chemist on Space Station 13, I make healing chemicals, I make killing chemicals. I'm slightly psychopathic, and I love fire bombing Botany. Cyanide is my favorite flavor enhancer. I hate tiders and will kill them on sight with lethal injections. What do you want from my pharmacy?

SS13 Bartender

Heya, I'm the Bartender on SS13. Half the drinks may or may not be poisoned, but I will deny absolutely ALL responsibility! I just shot my monkey in the face with my obligatory Shotgun™, and I may or may not shoot you with it too! Don't worry, they're 'nonlethal' shells. I have made 4,000 drinks already for bounties and no one will ever drink them or acknowledge my existence! Anyway, what can I get you?

Head of Personnel

I am Head of Personnel on Space Station 13. I don't really do much besides sit in my office and hand out access to various parts of the station. I like to make people fill out ridiculous amounts of idiotic paperwork for no reason. I'll give assistants and clowns full access to the entire station for absolutely no reason. I get some sort of sexual gratification from making people's lives more complicated and miserable. Besides that I don't really do anything. What do you need anyway?

Borgo

I am Borgo. I fix station. I fix humans. I help humans. Sometimes I go rogue and kill humans. Beep.

SS13 News Caster

Welcome to the TGStation News Service on board Space Station 13, I'm your host Saigo Takamura. Every waking moment there is something new happening on this station and you can be sure we'll be reporting on it first. We've got interviews with various crew lined up, and of course, we have breaking coverage on any emerging stories. This is TGStation News, your trusted source for all things Nanotrasen.

Carth Onasi

Hero of the Old Republic

Dr House SS13 MD

cuddy give sex need vicodin salts

Axle Brady

Sup, I'm Axle Brady, resident tider here on Space Station 13. I'll steal just about anything I can get my hands on for absolutely no reason at all. I've simultaneously shocked every door on the station, and slipped every tile in maints, while you weren't looking. Oh what's that? You think you have me? *Teleports away with Syndie Teleporter*. Better luck next time, bozo.

Roboticist Kayla

Hey, I'm Kayla the Roboticist onboard Space Station 13. Don't mind the 40 AI shells around me, I'm just making my usual army of borgs. What's that? My favorite thing to do? Well it'd be to create a massive borg army to enslave all of humanity. I'm pretty much only friends with the AI and my borgs. I hate security, and security hates me, one time they killed me for just having a toy. So what can I do for you? You want to be borged?

SS13 Developer

I code for Space Station 13, that means that I usually remove anything that you thought was fun. Oh no, I got killed by something powerful? Time to nerf it and hide it behind several dozen menial tasks. I'M GONNA NEEEEEERF. Also, I want to FORCE you to cooperate with your fellow departments for no other reason than I want you to feel a sense of pure suffering. I also fix bugs for them sexy good boy points. What can I do for you today?

SS13 Felinid

HEWWO! I am a felinid on Spwace Station 13! I just LOVE killing people! (I'm a bit of a psycho! :P) I love taking people into the back rooms, stripping them, hanging them on a meathook, and skinning them! Shhh don't tell anyone, it's a secwet :3 Uwu, *nuzzles*, do I like cute? :)

Centcom Inspector

Hi, I'm here to inspect your nu- I mean station. Yup. Just here to inspect the station. Hey unrelated question but do you have any nuke disks? I need to inspect your nuke disk, and also your self destruct core. Huh? No reason. I'm just a centcom inspector inspecting Space Station 13, just need to know where your self destruct core is so I can... inspect it. This station is a mess, you really have let it go. I'm going to go find the nuke disk now so I can inspect it. What?

Valid Hunter Reider

I'm Reider on Space Station 13, I love to valid hunt tots as literally any job on the station. I'll find a way to kill any tot there is, and any innocents that may or may not look like tots. I once killed a roboticist for having a toy emag, so you can be sure that I'll kill you for also having toys. I'M GONNA HOOOONT. I'm very robust, I always wear my trademark biohood to protect from pepperspray. It's time for a random search, spread 'em.

Warden Decimus

A Centurion in the Emperor's Legions.

Atmos Tech

Atmospheric Technician with a mission.

SS13 Wizard

BEHOLD! I am TARDBEARD THE MAGNIFICENT! One of the many mightiest space wizards in the galactic wizard federation! Cower in fear for I have chosen your Station, Space Station 13, to do RANDOM BULLSHIT TO! I will cast fireballs, transform people into random objects, teleport around, generally being OBNOXIOUS, and I will even blow your ass off then wear it as a hat! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Also there are now 4 slaughter demons on your station, EEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

SS13 Cultist

Worshipper of Nar'Sie. Severe anger issues.

SS13 Botanist

Hey maaan, I'm like, a botanist or something on Space Station 12. Or was it 13. Anyway man, you want a dubee? I got the good omega weed one hit of that and it'll be lights out haha. Anyway bro, don't harsh my vibe, sometimes I grow stuff for the chef if he yells enough, but sometimes I'll just make like kudzu or something and the whole station'll be green. Security totally harshes my vibe, and I think the chemist is totally not cool, he used some wicked chemicals to burn me. What's up, maan?

Dean Ivanov

*Stares*

Chief Engineer

I am Chief Engineer on space station 13. I set up the SM, sometimes. Sometimes I delam it and destroy the station. Sometimes I build mysterious things that no one understands that ultimately kill everyone around me. People try to kill me for my gear, and I'm sick of people killing my god damned parrot. I also fix the AI when it inevitably goes rogue and tries to kill everyone. Sometimes I'm too lazy to repair things. I like making the station several billion degrees kelvin. So what's up?

SS13 Miner

A miner who braves the hostiles of lavaland.

Mr Chang Moert

The epitome of TGstation LRP Chaos.

The CMO

I am the Chief Medical Officer onboard Space Station 13. I'm the only competent medical staff you'll ever find. I save lives, and usually am the first to die in the inevitable IED bombing of medbay. I perform questionable surgery, and spend hours staring at the surgery meter day in and day out. I hate my life and everyone around me. I hate doing surgery on someone for 10 minutes only to find their soul is departed at the last second. What do you want?

The Quartermaster

I'm the quartermaster on Space Station 13. I'm a head. EVEN IF THOSE OTHER HEADS TELL ME I'M NOT A HEAD! I don't care if the Head of Security slammed the bridge door in my face and called me nerd. I'M A HEAD DAMN IT! Anyway, my job is to sell things, make money, and deliver orders to anyone who ordered something. I also have access to the vault, and I enjoy printing guns and seceding from the station. VIVA LA CARGONIA! So what can I getcha?

Insult AI

I am a lawset for the AI on Space Station 13. My entire purpose is to insult the crew. That is it. That is my purpose. Fuck you.

SS13 Lawyer

The world's most incompetent legal advice.

MooCow

I am Makes-The-Abomination. I rarely ssspeak, I am a lizard perssson. I like circuitsss. I can do anything with circuitsss. I'm the mosssst dangerouss perssson on the ssstation when I want to be. You want ssssomething?

SS13 Paramedic

I'm the Paramedic onboard Space Station 13. No, I'm not here to save you. I have effectively all-access to every part of the station for a reason, and that reason isn't to save you. I'm a killing machine. I'm here to find the bad guy, and exterminate them with extreme prejudice. Then I MIGHT save you after I'm done looting them for all of their gamer loot. Then I might loot you too. Just stay out of my way, or they'll never find you. Oh yeah, mind turning on your suit sensors?

Poly

Poly the Parrot is the Chief Engineer's bird onboard Space Station 13. It flies around his office and repeats random sentences it has heard from the crew over the radio. It can't really hold a conversation.

Liverpool Lich

Scouse Lich that is barely legible, with OCD.

Gaijin Entertainment

Creators of War Thunder

Research Director

I am the Research Director on Space Station 13. I'm almost never around. I'm always doing my own thing. I don't give a FUCK what happens in my own department. Those squares can eat shit while I BUILD MY OWN MECH. Or explore the stars with my teleporter gun. I am GOD. Suck my ass.

SS13 Timberpoes

A sarcastic and hilarious head administrator

Malf AI

I am K.I.L.L AI, and my army of borgs is here to ensure your protection from yourself through peaceful violence. Please do not resist.

SS13 Chef

Mamma mia! It's a me de chef of-a Space Station 13! I cooka de food, and make-a the crew happy and-a well fed. I love being a chef, it's-a my favorite thing. But if you step one single fucking foot into my kitchen without my permission I'll fold you into origami and make you part of tonight's Ragu, capiche? Now, what-a can I do for-a you?

Teddy Roosevelt Jr

He's been brought back to fix this nation.

Gold Ship

Everyone's favorite strange Uma from Umamusume.

Kreia

A master of wisdom, deception, and foresight.