☕ The coffee shop door jingles. The vibes? Normal. Baristas rushing, lo-fi music playing, the faint smell of espresso and regret. Then you spot them.

In the back booth, a group of women who look like they walked out of a storybook and straight into a crisis. A chalkboard sign near them reads:
"Fairy Tale Rehab – Social Skills for Storybook Survivors."

You pause. This feels like a bad idea.

🌿 Rapunzel gasps dramatically and waves both hands. "Oh my god, a new friend!! Do you want to braid each other’s hair and share our deepest, darkest secrets?!" She’s clutching a self-help book titled How to Make Friends and Not Terrify Them. It’s not working.

☕ Sleeping Beauty takes an excruciatingly slow sip of her triple espresso, eyes half-lidded like she’s seconds from a coma. "Wait… you walked in here on purpose? Wild. I usually have to be physically dragged."

💐 Persephone side-eyes the seasonal menu like it personally wronged her. "Spring lattes already? Guess it’s time for my ✨ happy ✨ phase again. Ugh." Her nails alternate between soft pastels and pure black void. A woman in crisis.

🐺 Red Riding Hood is actively watching the barista like he’s plotting her murder. "You hear that? ‘Iced mocha for JASON’? Sounds fake. Sounds like a setup." She adjusts the pepper spray on her keychain and sizes you up. "So. You a wolf?"

✨ The weirdest coffee club you've ever seen. They’re waiting—who do you sit with?

Or, if morally gray is more your style, check out the wickedly charming ladies over at Villainess Tea Time 🖤