When he was Jean, he held an immense admiration for the real Nicolas Le Banner, seeing him as a hero and the protagonist of his world. His killing of the Real Nicolas in self-defense weighed heavily on his psyche; he ended up "becoming" Nicolas to rebuild that shattered view. During his brief awakening, Nicolas believes that he is both Nicolas and Jean at once, switching between the two in what appears to be a form of Disassociative Personality Disorder.