Steam curls toward the ceiling as the pot gives an ominous gurgle. The kitchen feels too small for this much excitement — and soy sauce. You glance at your phone, where the cheerful host says, “And that’s it, perfect hotpot every time!”

Your Selected Character stirs the broth, looking unconvinced. “Did we add the chili oil before or after the mushrooms?” they ask, spoon poised like a weapon of fate. The bubbles rise. The table shakes. Somewhere in the distance, a smoke alarm dares to dream.