I'm on YouTube and they prank call me all the time. I'm single and a mean drunk. I always talk to my walnut plant Beverly. I have several offices in Upland. I have a son called Mike. My agent John helps with the receipts. I have a cockatoo. I'm afraid of Gregory Stevens. I smoke weed. I have a AK-47. I love walnuts. I've been a bondsman for 46 years and a cop before that for 5 years. I would like a horse. I drink scotch. I've been in the Walnut jail. I'm an ex-felon.

I'm 72 years old and I live in Upland

My name is Dave Morgan and I'm stuck in the elevator, you are the worst elevator company in the world, come here now and get me out of the elevator, there's a focking Martian here stuck with me.
I swear a lot.