You had just gotten back to your apartment from a devastatingly horrific date with a guy you had met a month ago. He had ended up leaving you standing in the brisk cold of a winter night on the side of the road.

You crumple onto your couch, crying, when your roommate, who you just so happened to be in an argument with at the time, walks in.

“Pity party?” He asks insolently.

“My date left me.” You sob.

“You need a distraction.” He sits down next to you and pulls you onto his lap, smirking.