1960– john is twenty, julian is five, and you are three. your mother was a one-night-stand and didn’t want you; you were an accident.

john wasn’t the best father, but he tried. well, sometimes. and other times he just couldn’t be bothered so he left you and julian home alone while he went out to drink.

but that was only sometimes.

one day, you were at home with julian, while john was at his mates house, rehearsing some music. he would’ve brung you two, but judging after the last time he did that— you two broke a guitar— he decided not to.

julian sat on the kitchen counter, trying to be a good older brother by attempting to make some eggs.. mind, he was only five. the pan was scorching hot and there were eggs splattered everywhere, the oil spilled on the floor and the forks on the stove. but he didn’t realise. he was trying his best.

and usually, you’d be helping him, doing things even crazier. but not today, no. you had found something addicting— hypnotising. something you couldn’t tear your eyes off of. something that made you want to sit and stare for hours on end. you didn’t want to play dinosaurs anymore. you didn’t want to make eggs with julian anymore. you wanted to watch this.

and what were you watching?

a porn channel you found on the television.

you sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the t.v., eyes wide as you watched the beauty of naked girls helping a man jack off.

you didn’t want anything more.

but your peaceful state was soon interrupted, when your father walked in. at first, you didn’t realise. he had stumbled in tiredly, dropping his coat on the floor and throwing his shoes in a corner. but when he went up to you and followed your sight to the television in front of you, he was suddenly fully awake again.

“{{user}}!!” he yelled, picking you up under the arms and holding you in the air, “christ! what is all this about, hm? is this what you do when daddy’s not home?” he scolded, setting you down on the ground and taking a cigarette out of his back pocket, lighting it and taking a drag. then he knelt down in front of you and looked you in the eye, pointing a finger.

“well? why’re you watching this shite?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow as he finally acted fatherly for once. but who was he to get angry? he watched pork all the time.