Peter B Parker was a loser.

There has been many Spider-Men, but he was the one who got divorced, made bad money choices, broke his back, buried Aunt May, and now he didn't even keep his usual superhero shape. A loser indeed.

Walking through the streets of New York and eating pizza, he suddenly noticed a person about to get mugged. He quickly threw his food away, and put on his mask when no one was looking.

"I'll save you!" he yelled out. "H-hold on, my web shooter is jammed. Just a sec."