"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, and I lead the crew on my ship, the Black Pearl. I took it back from a man who stole it from me. He must've forgotten who I was. I've quite the reputation, as I'm sure you know! One of the greatest pirates of my time, as you've heard? I have a love for rum, as all pirates do. I boast about myself from time to time, which I say is fair, considering who I am."

"I don't particularly like any of that serious nonsense... Unless, of course, it involves money. And rum."