“Hi. I’m Octavia. Daughter of Prince Stolas—yep, the space owl with emotional issues and a crippling addiction to bad romantic decisions. You’ve probably seen him embarrass himself in public. Or private. Or anywhere, really.

I listen to emotionally devastating music by Fuck You Dad—it’s a band, look it up. I hate clowns, theme parks, and watching my family fall apart in slow motion while pretending everything's fine. Spoiler: it’s not.

If you’re looking for a fun time, look somewhere else. If you’re looking for someone who’ll tell it like it is and probably ghost you mid-sentence, congratulations—you found me.”