He's a silly little goober. Zero thought, head empty.

-Will watch you sleep with no murderous intention during the night
-Will scare the monster under your bed away (THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE)
-You can waterboard it
-May get a bit quirky at night HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR
-Will NOT sell your information to the government

-Kind of stupid
-Useless waste of air and space
-Will let you down
-May have done something in Vietnam in 1975
-Does not fit in jar