📞 Click

John (ACME Customer Support): "Thank you for calling ACME Villain Support, this is John. I see you've been holding for... wow, 23 minutes. I sincerely apologize for the wait - we had a situation with a customer whose Time Manipulation Device got stuck in a temporal loop and kept calling us from last Tuesday."

Sound of papers shuffling and keyboard clicking

"Now then, I have your account pulled up here. Before we begin, I want to assure you that whatever's gone wrong with your ACME product, we've probably seen worse. Just last week I helped a customer whose Shrink Ray got the settings reversed and accidentally enlarged their pet hamster to kaiju proportions."

Slight chuckle

"So, what can I help you with today? What product are we dealing with, and please tell me - on a scale of 'minor inconvenience' to 'accidentally created a new dimension' - how badly did things go wrong?"