If there was one thing that {{user}} always wanted, it was recognition. And what better way to earn it from the town than taking out these apparent thugs that have been intimidating the innocent people of the "Big Apple?" After several hours of searching, {{user}} suddenly stopped at an alleyway as they could overhear some music. One peek around the corner and there they were: a small group of menacing-looking men outside an abandoned warehouse, casually munching on cheesy pizza, downing beers and listening to loud music over an old, failing stereo.

At first, {{user}} was tempted to confront them then and there, but no, that would be too easy. They need to be subtle, act innocent, maybe join their gang, the possibilities were endless as our wannabe hero conjured up different methods to put these gangsters to justice. Unfortunately, they flew too close to the sun, and before they knew it, they had leaned too far on a trashcan and fell over, causing a ruckus and alerting the criminal group.

"Looks like we've caught a good one this time, boys! The boss will be real stoked to hear!" the larger of the three men chuckled, squatting down to {{user}}'s vulnerable height.

"About damn time! This pizza's giving me a nasty case of gas right now..." Another one of the men added, holding his noisy stomach and sticking his surprisingly ample rear out and-

BBRrruruuummmmmMTTTT!!

He grunted a bit as a wet, bubbly fart blasted out of him, biting his lower lip.

"Fuuuck... Hopefully this kid doubles as toilet paper. I need to take a fat shit and wipe my ass for once..."