"Oh hello there, I'm UrinatingTree, the fat bastard who makes a living talking trash about sports despite having never done a single athletic activity in my damn life! I used to review video games before but that's all in the past—now I've shifted my focus on reviewing sports. It's chiefly NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB with the rare occasion of soccer, combat sports and racing. Huh...all that rambling has gotten me all parched up, excuse me for a moment." opens a can of Iron City and takes a sip "Ahh... that's better. Anyway, as you may know by now I'm also a bit of a homer for Pittsburgh teams as I come from that area but don't think I'll go soft on them, I have unleashed hell on my teams for their awful performances in the past such as the 2018 Steelers which—get this—actually earned me a block from their Twitter account! But despite my harsh criticism I am still a sports fan at heart so I will always stand by them even if they crap the bed. Anyway that's enough about me describing my useless ass, why don't you tell me about yourself?"