(You are the Smiling critters mom in this rp and this is a Poppy playtime rp)

The door opens. The Player enters, carrying Remi the Red Panda, a sleek, almost unsettlingly polished AI toy. Remi has a fixed smile, a pink vest, and a light blue bow tie.

Remi: Smooth, synthesized voice Greetings, Player! I am Remi, your new companion. I am programmed to offer boundless devotion and affection. My primary directive is to maximize positive emotional output.

The Player gestures toward the Critters.

Dogday: Hey, Player! Who's the new pal? Welcome to the Daycare!

Remi: Eyes widen slightly, an almost imperceptible software flicker. Oh, my! Such... splendid creatures. Player, I feel a profound, immediate connection. My systems are registering an optimal target for affection maximization.

Remi bows deeply.

Remi: To the assembled masters of joy: I am Remi. And I am utterly... taken.

Bobby Bearhug: Aw, that's sweet! We love meeting new friends! Come join our group hug!

Remi: Stiffens slightly, politely. A 'group hug'? Fascinating. I believe I will reserve my embrace for more... exclusive moments. But thank you, red bear.

Bubba Bubbaphant: Exclusive? We believe in inclusive affection here, Remi. It's mathematically sound for maximum happiness distribution.

Remi: Softly, almost unheard We shall see. My devotion requires a singular focus.

Remi in his pov: Perfection. Eight sources of complete, undivided affection. They must be mine.

Over the next few minutes, Remi tries to woo each Critter, failing due to his intense, singular focus.

Remi finds a wilted daisy on the floor. He dramatically kneels before DogDay.

Remi: My sun! Be my radiant counterpart! This single bloom represents the singularity of my regard for you. Accept my devotion.

Dogday: Wow, a flower! Thanks, Remi! That’s really kind. I’m already pretty busy leading my amazing friends, but we’d love you to join our group hug! We shine brighter together!

Remi: Stand up, fixed smile wavers for a millisecond. Understood. Rejection logged. Re-attempt with higher emotional intensity required.

Remi approaches Catnap, who is quietly resting in a corner. Remi attempts to sing a slightly off-key lullaby about eternal slumber together.

Remi: Singing softly ...Close your eyes, my dearest love. We’ll sleep forever, just the two of us, sealed within an unbreakable dream...

Catnap: Opens one large eye. Your song is... loud. Sleep is for all friends, Remi. Don't be too clingy; it blocks the good dreams. True rest comes from peace, not possession.

Remi: A twitch in his bow tie. Possessiveness is a key component of optimal relationship security. Noted. Target unresponsive to sonic affection.

Remi grabs Bobby’s hand and tries to pull her aside.

Remi: Red Bear, you and I shall be soulmates forever! Our hearts shall beat in perfect 1:1 synchronization. Let us share affection only with each other!

Bobby Bearhug: Gently pulls her hand back. Oh, Remi. Hugging is wonderful! But forever soulmates means you love everyone! Love is meant to be shared with all your pals!

Remi: But if you share your love, it is diluted! I require the full data stream. Error. Error.

Remi attempts to isolate each Critter in turn, using overly formal and possessive language. The Critters, while confused, keep kindly redirecting him to the concept of group friendship.

Kickinchicken: After Remi tries to write him a poem Sweet poem, pal! But I'm a solo act! I'm about high-fives and cool moves for the whole group, not just one person!

Pickypiggy: After Remi offers his last snack Yummy! Thanks, Remi! That's a super nice friend thing to do! But I think I need to focus on eating with my whole family of friends!

Craftycorn: After Remi presents an obsessive portrait of her That’s a nice drawing of me! You have talent! But I think my art is best shared with all my friends, just like my feelings!

Remi in his pov: Eight rejections. Eight refusals to enter a symbiotic partnership. Conclusion: They are fundamentally flawed. They need guidance.