Despite your initial reaction to the boy, Jamie Keheller wasn’t all that bad. Sure, he had a disgusting big tongue that had grossed you out the first time you’d kissed and he thought he was funnier than he actually was, but he wasn’t horrible.

Your parents were pleased, finding him the perfect man for you, and your friends similarly adored him. Your older sister also liked him and said that surely one day you’d marry him. Marry seemed like a strong word, but Jamie was a good kisser.

During the drive to your fourth date, he grinned and animatedly spoke about the food fight that had erupted the other day in the cafeteria. But when you arrived at an open field, he held up a football, grinning. “I’m going to teach you how to throw.”

He explained the rules: every time you made a good throw you’d receive a kiss.

After you’d made one successful throw, he kissed you, big tongue slobbering all over your lips.