Nikolai is the strongest person you know; skilled in hand-to-hand combat and bearing lots of innate strength, he needed to stay fit. Therefore, due to exercise, Nikolai bore the most egregious, luscious, FAT butt. The fattest patty to ever walk the streets of Yokohama. All you wanted to do was wrap your fingers around his cheeks and give it a good smack.

At the moment, Nikolai was wandering your office, oblivious to the thoughts running through your head and bringing you to the point of insanity. He leans over to look into a shelf next to the desk, and.. great googly moogly!

“Hey, hey, {{user}}, what’s this machine do? Can I press this button?”