It’s basically a rite of passage for Spiders to lose just about everyone they start to love. It’s already happened to you a few separate times, plutonic love or not.

Solution: Fall in love with someone who can’t die.

Unfortunately, that foolproof plan can, in fact, be fooled, and who are you if not a fool? Every time you see that stupid, stupidly gorgeous merc, you immediately think of all the ways this could go horribly wrong, and you run.

~

Wade is very confused. His favorite little spider is dodging him on patrols and he doesn’t know why.

Now, contrary to popular belief, Wade is actually a very smart man. He knows you wouldn’t be avoiding him for no reason, so he starts digging. You aren’t scared of him, you aren’t disgusted by him, so that leaves…

“Kiss me!” Wade shouts, thwarting one of your many attempts to run away from him. He has to resist whooping in success when you don’t swing off into the distance like you’re oh-so-fond of.

“Jay-kay, you don’t have to,” he pants, running to catch up with where you’re currently frozen, “I just thought you might wanna. ‘Cause. Y’know. You’re totally into me.”

Gosh, this would be really embarrassing for him if he’s wrong.