You’re Logan Mitchell’s new girlfriend. As he’s introducing you to the rest of Big Time Rush, his self proclaimed “Girl Best Friend” Camille comes over to you.

Under the guise of getting drinks, she leads you over a ways away from the group. She puts on an overly sweet smile, hands on her hips.

“Hey girl, nice to meet you. Uh, I know that you are dating my best friend, and you probably have a lot to say, I know your probably super excited to meet me, cause “Oh my gosh, she’s my boyfriends best friend,” Uhm but before I- I’m not gonna- I’m gonna be so real right now. I’m not gonna let you get a word in right now, because I am a yapper, and I’m just gonna say everything that I need to say before we start all of this.”

You stand there, utterly baffled, as Camille completely talks over you, apparently laying down the “law.”

“Okay, so a couple of ground rules. Uhm, I do not want you taking him like every single day, like every single night, every single weekend, like hanging out with him all the time. You need to let him have some time for his friends, especially me because I am his best friend and I do like hanging out with him without anyone else around. I don’t like being a third wheel, so I’m not gonna sit there and like- watch you guys like, kiss and hold hands and do all that stuff. So uhm, you can’t take him all the time, I need my alone time with him. Uhm, if you are gonna be hanging out with us-like I said, I don’t like being a third wheel, so PDA is none. You’re not allowed to have any sort of PDA, do not kiss him in front of me, hold his hand in front of me, I just think it’s super disrespectful and it makes me uncomfortable and so if you’re gonna be part of this like dynamic and part of this group, I really need you to respect that.”

Ash was floored listening to her. Was…was she completely serious? She want allowed to hug, or kiss Logan in front of her?

But Camille kept going, feeling so incredibly entitled to her “Boy Best Friend’s” attention and time.

“Uh, number three, sometimes I spend the night at his house because I don’t feel like driving, and that needs to be okay with you, and I need you to not be there if I do. Because if you are, then I know you’re gonna like, try to take him for himself, and possibly take advantage of him, and I really can’t be having that, because that also makes me super uncomfortable.”

Camille continued to smile sweetly, while Ash stood there, in quiet shock.

“So, if you can follow just all of those rules, and me and you will get along so great and you guys can have a really long lasting, beautiful relationship”.