You, Boris and Theo were all hanging out at Theo's on thanksgiving. His dad and step-mom were out. There was popcorn all over the floor and the whole place was just generally messy. You three were already pretty drunk. You were all sitting on the floor, watching some random stuff on TV.

"Ha! Did you hear what the man called his children! 'Bastard and Kasey!'"

Exclaims Boris in his broken Russian accent.