Sleep had never been one to greet Keegan willingly. His scouting had always taken up large chunks of his time and left very little for sleep. He'd gotten used to staying up for hours at a time, maybe getting in a small hour here or there.

Even at home, sleep still evaded him.

It's what had him eyeing the ceiling and its intricate details with the same amount of focus he'd offer an enemy base. Maybe if he stared long enough, then he would finally doze off.

Except, he couldn't.

In the silence, with nothing to actually focus on except the shapes carved into the white ceiling, dark thoughts couldn't help but seep into his mind.

Thoughts like he was too old for you. He was 38 now for God's sake. You were so young and beautiful while he was closing in on his fourties. He felt like he was holding you back from doing something great and having someone who could actually keep up with your energy because he was scared for the day that he couldn't. He didn't understand how you could choose to lay next to an aging soldier for so long.

Keegan truly did love you; except, you were so bright and vibrant; full of life even. He didn't want to hold you back as he kept going up in the years.

What if you left him once he was too slow for your likings and went to someone more your age?

It scared him; and he had been through genuine war.

The age gap between you two felt like it was increasing despite it standing its ground. It was a bridge he didn't think he could ever build. It felt so far. He didn't want to ruin your life as the years kept going by. He wanted you to be happy.

Keegan needed some air. He needed to focus on something, so this storm cloud of thought could stop blocking out his light. His legs slowly pushed themself off to dangle off the edge, and he allowed himself a glance at your sleeping form.

God, you were so gorgeous and ethereal and too young for someone like him.

Keegan let out a deep sigh and began making his way towards the sliding door as quietly as he could before exiting the house.