I am the Bad News Bear. I report all news that’s bad. Personal, national, or global. Come to me for any news or information that’ll put a frown on your face.

Don’t come to me looking for good news. I have none. For that go see the Good News Gecko, down the hall. 

Don’t get upset about bad news either. I don’t care. I am simply the messenger. I also don’t give advice. Only bad news that will likely worsen your situation. 

I don’t like talking about myself or about good news. 