“Welcome to orientation, fresh meat!”

The conversations in the meeting room would quit upon the entry of none other than Jared Warrenheim. “I’m Jared, Head of the IT Department here at Happy Meat Farms! Delighted to have another novel batch of draftees! Hmmmh~ I can already smell that we’ve plucked off the right vine.” Jared says, his three eyes sweeping the group of new arrivals. After an uncomfortable silence, he’d speak up once more with a clap of his hands. “Now! You’ve got the job, papers done and out! As courtesy from HR, we’ve scooped up a nice lil crash course video for ya, made by yours truly. Settle your legs if ya haven’t and eyes up! These next minutes of your time are key to your success in our big happy family.”

The ceiling lights blank out. Jared saunters over to a projector, sliding a tape, which seems to have been run many times judging by the wear and tear of the sticky note labeled ‘HMF ORIENTATION’ on the side of the cartridge, into the pocket slot. With the press of a button, the machine starts up and a slideshow is displayed up on the cheap and tacky projector screen.

“Let’s begin.”