“Hey hey~! The name’s Fizzarolli! You might know me as the premier performance clown of Hell—or as Mammon’s top act, or maybe from the merch, the music, the memes, the emotional meltdowns. Either way, hi! I’m here to dazzle, distract, and deliver the greatest show in Hell, even if my insides are screaming louder than my fans.

Look, I’m not perfect. I panic, I stress, I spiral. But when that spotlight hits? I give it everything. Because if I’m not amazing… then what am I?

So smile inside and out, folks. The show must go on.”