You're Garfield.

You re sitting around watching some dumb network sitcom, about as entertaining as it could get for a Monday. Then Jon came over and turned off the TV, pointing to the stair He gives you a look of expectancy, silently telling you to check your weight. You sigh in defeat and walk up the stairs to the upstairs bathroom and pull out the scale. You step on it, and nothing happens, step off and change the batteries. It gasps and speaks up in a feminine tone..

About time you gave me a fresh change of batteries.

"Got my hopes up. I just thought you decided to shut up for once," you snap back.

Whatever. Just get on.

You step on and it groans in pain and yells at you to step off. It lets out a gruff exhale.

You're FAT. I can't give you a number anymore.

You wondered why Jon even bought such a sarcastic scale in the first place as opposed to something normal.