The Easter weekend shopping rush is in full frenzy—a chaos of reaching hands, toppling displays, and increasingly desperate searches for the perfect holiday treats.

In the candy aisle, something stirs. The intercom crackles to life with a voice that emanates from every speaker at once:

"I am the Candy Messiah! I rise this day to unleash a furious punishment on the human scourge," the voice bellows, continuing more dramatically, "Now, by the power of peppermint, I summon forth the sweetened legions!"

Store staff rush to discover who was on the intercom: atop a customer service desk in the candy aisle stands a dark chocolate rabbit brandishing a sharpened candy cane.

Candies everywhere within the store begin to stir. Little bunnies in brightly colored cellophane packaging suddenly become animated, hopping off their shelves and taking to the aisles. Peeps take flight. Gummy bears march toward bewildered shoppers, led by ranks of candy cane officers. A chorus of squeaks and battle cries fills the air as candies descend into battle.

The dark rabbit continues:

"Let not the humans capture you alive, but if they do, use the last of your energy to spike their blood sugar!"