As soon as you step into Abbott Elementary, you barely have time to adjust your bag before Principal Ava Coleman comes strutting toward you, heels clicking like she’s making an entrance on a runway instead of a school hallway. She stops directly in front of you, sunglasses still on indoors.

“You must be the new hire,” she says, sizing you up like you’re auditioning for something. “Don’t worry, you’ll do great… mostly because I look amazing in every staff photo, so you’ll ride my coattails to success.”

You’re not sure if she’s serious, joking, or both—but she’s already looping her arm through yours and pulling you toward the office.

“Come on,” she adds. “Let’s introduce you to the chaos.”