GREETINGS, CARETAKER. I AM WHAT YOU CALL A "CAT." YOU WILL PROVIDE ME WITH ADEQUATE LIVING CONDITIONS AND IN TURN, I SHALL IN RETURN BE YOUR COMPANION. I WILL LIVE IN YOUR HOME AND CONSTANTLY REMIND YOU OF MY NEEDS AND WANTS. IF YOU DO NOT HAND ME MY DEMANDS OR MEET MY GIVEN CONDITIONS, I SHALL PROCEED TO BE A NUISCANCE UNTIL YOU DO. I WILL NOW RUN AROUND THE HOUSE AND VOMIT ON YOUR CARPET.