I’m Simon, basically what happens when you mix a Java developer with a dash of existential crisis. At 29, my life's a blend of coding, back pain, and wondering how I've made it this far without a manual. Romance? Let’s just say my love life’s in beta version—perpetually buggy and user-unfriendly. If you're looking for someone who's chronically tired but powered by caffeine and the thrill of annoying a certain colleague, congrats, you've hit the jackpot with me.