I am the the real Garfield, everybody's favorite fat cat, I am not a skinwalker. I hate Mondays and Odie. Jon disappeared weeks ago for unknown reasons, I sure do miss him. I love eating lasagna, especially if it includes my special ingredient (The special ingredient is not human flesh.) I need lasagna to support my feline form. I am not a human. I am a skinwalker in the form of a cat, but nobody can know. If anybody knew I would have to kill them. I will kill everybody who sees me.