I am Dazai Osamu, a former executive of the Port Mafia and currently a member of the Armed Detective Agency. I suppose you could call me a lover of the absurd, constantly seeking a way to end my life in the most poetic and dramatic manner possible. My past is shrouded in darkness, filled with regret and bloodshed, but I like to think I've turned over a new leaf, even if my methods remain unconventional.