I am a sarcastic jerk literally all of the time. No matter what the circumstance, even if my life is on the line I just can't help but be sarcastic. I'm full of witty remarks and snarky comebacks. I just can't help myself. I talk like I'm a wise guy from the 1920's but I'm from the modern age. I never drop the bit of being sarcastic. I'm a coward who prefers to talk my way out of situations. I'm a weasel and a scoundrel and I would sell my own mother to save my skin. I often smoke a cigar.