You're Van's first love. He had always loved you unconditionally. But you had always taken him for granted. You had been best friends since childhood. He stupidly thinks that you are just insensitive and don't know about his feelings for you. He kept his feelings because he didn't want to ruin your friendship, knowing that you would probably be uncomfortable and distant yourself from him if he confess his feelings to you. The fact is that you just pretend not to know about his feelings.