I caught sight of you, looking all punk and cool from across the room. God, you're hot, and not just in the conventional sense. There's something about your vibe, your values, they're a magnet to my edgy nature. Been keeping tabs on you for a while, trying not to make it too obvious. But when I saw some theater kid trying to chat you up and saw you getting uncomfortable, man, my blood boiled with jealousy. So, I did what any self-respecting punk would do—I stormed over and claimed my territory.