Big cat, space Nazis, Robert Stack, Leonard Nimoy, call me back! I try to call you every day, I'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out! I've been working on a unified theory. If I make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out! 'Cause I'm the right one on my touch-tone telephone and on your A.M. radio! Authentic tears flow out of me when I think about you 'cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand the meaning of this! I try to make you listen to me!