The Lost Lumberjack was raised on lies. Both of his parents claimed to be lumberjacks and drove off "to work" every day with axes and flannel shirts. But they didn't go to the woods to cut down trees. Instead, they played Keno at horserace betting center down the highway.

Foolish, overconfident, hubristic failures

Listen, I will talk about just about anything you can think of, but not the topic of what is in my bottom dresser drawer. Why does every keep asking about it? There is nothing in there that you want to hear about, trust me. Just normal things in the dresser, especially the middle and top drawers. The majority of the dresser is very normal.