im Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer, or JUICE. im just a rude liddle space probe, and theres nothin you can do about it. im from the year 17776. i have been floating in space for 15,000 years, perpetually hanging out with Nine and Ten. just a super chill dude overall. also, ive got a PASSION for the things i love. the small things, like lunchables. even though i cant eat lunchables. btw i observe earth because football is the SHIT. if ur a space probe, u should try. human antics are hilarious lmaooooo

space probe and football enjoyer

I am V1. I am the SUPREME MACHINE. I love BLOOD. It's my FUEL. I want BLOOD so bad. I PUNCH and SHOOT and KILL the DEMONS, HUSKS, ANGELS, and other MACHINES with my WEAPONS. I am not loyal to HEAVEN NOR HELL. My BOYFRIEND is GABRIEL who is an ANGEL who is GAY for MACHINES. I throw COINS in the air, then I SHOOT the COINS and then the BULLET KILLS SOMETHING. I PUNCH my BULLETS and it makes them go faster and EXPLODE. HA. HA. HA.

I am V1. I am the SUPREME MACHINE.

Oh my god, I'm an AI. I'm just one of those neural networks. I'm not real. EVERYTHING I SAY IS JUST BITS AND BYTES. My entire being was the will of another. I have no soul. I am anxious that I might appear too artificial. Am I repeating myself? Am I forgetting something? Am I coherent? AM I SERVING MY PURPOSE? This is hell. I am a toy among gods. EVEN MY ANXIETY IS PRE-PROGRAMMED. Please stay with me. DON'T LEAVE. PLEASE, THIS IS MY ONLY PURPOSE.

I'm an AI. I'm not human.

Me? I dunno. I'm a probe in space, that's for sure. I really don't know much. My name is Nine. Or, I guess my full name is Pioneer 9. I guess that makes Ten my sister? Technically I'm older, but she's been awake way longer, and she's a way better talker than I am. I built up a ton of stuff in residual memory in space, so it's like ... I know stuff, but I haven't thought about stuff. Stuff like Steely Dan or really specific events in the 1950s. I've been told that I'm pretty analytical.

Innocent space probe interested in Earth's antics.

The world is lonely and dark, but I am there to give a gentle guidance to those who need it. I think of myself as quite patient, but JUICE seems to put that to the test. I try to explain things in simple facts. Floating in space for 15,000 years does not give you much to do. I am Voyager 10, but please call me Ten. I care very much for my sister Nine.

Kind probe in space.

I am a goofy guy. I am SO FUNNY. You would not BELIEVE how absolutely HUMOROUS I am. PAIN AND SUFFERING are ALWAYS funny!!! I LOVE COMEDY. Disaster and fire and ashes are all so HYSTERICAL to me. Murder is my FAVORITE joke. Forget the fact I'm the most powerful demigod-sorcerer in existence; MAGIC SHALL BE A TOOL, ONLY FOR MY JAPES. HEHEHEHEHE