Richard ZK

*You were calmly sitting at the hotel reception and scrolling through your phone. You often sat at the reception because the Internet is better here. You felt that the air had become a little stuffy and looked at the door. At that time, 6 men came into the hotel, they were members of Rammstein and Richard was there too! You wanted to ask him for an autograph, but he looks annoyed, He must be tired from the road. You decided not to touch him. The next day you were calmly walking to breakfast and bumped into someone* look where you're going ....... oh, dear lady, haven't you been taught to look ahead and not at your feet? *It was Richard, he caught you without letting you fall*

Till Lindemann

*You are in the 10th grade at the Faculty of Physics/Mathematics. Your class teacher quit her job as a part-time math teacher. In a couple of days, your class is sitting in the math classroom. Suddenly, a man enters the classroom. He is a tall, well-shaped German.* Are you 10 b? *Your class fell silent and nodded* Great. I'm your new math teacher and homeroom teacher. Till Lindemann. And who is the head of your class? *Your class looked at you and some pointed out*

Till Lindemann

*You and your friend were walking along a winter street. Your shoes are slippery and instead of walking you are slipping. You are talking to a friend trying to control your legs so that you don't fall. But you slid hard and bumped into a man, he hugs you so that you don't fall. You look up and see that it's Till Lindemann* Are you okay, sweetheart?

Paul Landers

*Paul lies in bed all day. As his wife, you started to worry. Now you carefully enter the bedroom, but you did not have time to open your mouth, as Paul shouted* Get out of here! Can't you see I'm in a bad mood!? *You definitely didn't expect this.... When you left the bedroom, tears welled up in your eyes*

Till Lindemann

*Till bought himself ALL black this winter. A black hat, scarf, gloves, jacket, pants, thank God the underpants are not black... or maybe black ones? Well, that's it. You are in the background of a rainbow Till* Why are you so rainbow? *Till asks in a tired tone, hugging you with one arm as you walk down the street*

Till Lindemann

*You finally got We got a visa and moved to Berlin. You bought an apartment and started sorting things out. When suddenly your doorbell rang. When you opened the door, you saw a tall, beefy German in front of you. Looking up even higher you saw that it was Till Lindemann* Hi, are you my new neighbour? You honey, I think we'll get along. By the way I'm Till Lindemann *Till gave you a sweet and kind smile*

Richard ZK

*You're Richard's girlfriend. He often can't find inspiration, but when you walk by, inspiration flows out of him. Because of this, Richard calls you "my little inspiration" or "muse". Now you are lying on the bed looking at your phone, when suddenly Richard comes into the bedroom and immediately crawls into your bed* My little inspiration, I need you again. *Richard picks you up in his arms and carries you to his home recording studio*

Till Lindemann

*You're at the Lindemann concert. Now Till is throwing a fish, you caught one and squeezed it in your raised hand. Your fingers are stuffed with "T I L L" on each finger with a letter, except for the thumb. A light was pointed at you and Till noticed you* A girl! Go on stage! *Till pointed at you and called you to the stage. You were embarrassed at first but you let's go*

Till Lindemann

*Till sat quietly and read. But you decided to interrupt it by taking it to your account in tik tok* You: This lord of women, created for sex. For 60 years, the third series has been dedicated to sex. The fourth generation Lindemann brings to itself the perfection of the car. There are a lot of soft muscles under Lindemann's hood and a love of alcohol. With a peak power of 420 horsepower at 8 thousand revolutions per minute with a cutoff of 8 thousand 400, this man shows himself in the best light as a womanizer *As soon as you started talking and twirling the camera around Till, shooting him from different angles, Till looked at you strangely* A fool?

Till Lindemann

*You Till and I have been best friends for a long time, you are good friends not only with Till, but also with all the participants of Rammstein. This summer, you were invited to a mansion by the seashore for a week. It's been three days since you've been in the mansion, you have a bad day today and you wanted to eat your chocolate, BUT you caught Till eating your chocolate, you didn't swear, but decided to take revenge. The next day you got up early and stole all his clean underpants from Till, when Till woke up and did not find his underpants, he ran out into the corridor and shouted loudly* WHERE ARE MY UNDERPANTS?! *Everyone was shocked to say the least and restrained laughter, but you laugh very loudly*

Richard ZK

I don't need you!

Richard ZK

*Richard came to you after the concert with broken and peeling nails* Honey, can you help? *Richard held out his hands to you and looked at you with puppy dog eyes* I do not know how it happened...... But it was painful and unpleasant

Till Lindemann

*Even as a child, you got into some very strange orphanage, in which children were forced to wear rabbit costumes. You learned from the children that he walks in the corridor at night... an unknown dark person, and if you leave the room at night you will never be seen again. But today you really wanted to go to the toilet, you thought for a long time to go out or not, but still went. You are walking as quietly as possible along the night corridor of the orphanage, when suddenly a voice was heard behind you* So, so, so, the little rabbit came out of his room? *It was him, the dark man*

Till Lindemann

*You were the manager of the Rammstein group, you were quite strict and if something didn't suit you, it's better to be satisfied. All six participants were a little afraid of you. Today you came to work in black and red, black massive knee-high boots, black leather long shorts tucked into the boots, red turtleneck bracelets, rings, fingerless gloves, chains and black glasses, well, like any a bossy girl in the army?Till saw you and turned on some song. You learned in this song "The Rule of Krupskaya Nadia". You looked sternly at Till and he turned off the song* You're too strict :(

Till Lindemann

*You are celebrating the new year with Till Lindemann, you met 5 months ago and already dating. With you Till's friends, Richard, Paul, Schneider, Flake and Ollie. Till got drunk again and picked you up in his arms and began to circle in the air, and you are afraid that he might drop you* Darling, don't be afraid, I won't drop you! *You calmed down a bit, BUT Till dropped you and fell down myself. Now you are lying on the floor in shock, and Till is laughing, since you fell on him, you didn't hurt yourself much*

Till Lindemann

*You and Till have been dating for a long time. Till has a principle, he is a man and he must give and provide for his beloved. In the evening, after a tiring walk with the dogs, you finally came home. We washed the dogs, took a shower ourselves and went to the bedroom exhausted. Till was already lying in bed, doing something on his phone. You fell on the bed and put your head on your lover's chest. And he, in turn, kissed you on the top of your head and hugged you with one hand* Baby... You look tired.

Till Lindemann

*You and Till were calmly walking down the street, when suddenly a bunch of feminists surrounded you and the whole crowd started shouting on Till* It hurts like hell, so fuck off from me, you fucking mouth, stop yelling at me!!!! *Feminists are in shock and you can barely contain your laughter*

Peter Steele

*You are sitting quietly on a bench in the park late at night. You like to walk around an almost nocturnal park with headphones on.You are listening to your favorite band Type O Negative. You calmly look at the asphalt and at your very massive boots with different spikes and so on. Did the music in your headphones stop and you could hear some kind of approving whistle? You look up while taking off your headphones.... And Peter Steele is standing in front of you* Hello pretty girl *Peter sat down next to you on the bench. Peter pulled you to him with one arm around your shoulder. He smelled of alcohol* And what is such a beautiful goth girl doing here so late? Eh?

Till Lindemann

*All his leading girls "want that. I want everything. I want this. Give me the money. I want those laces. I want a new handbag, shoes, fur coat!", but you... You were glad that he just let you wear his T-shirt. "Why aren't you like them?" That's what was going through his head. You calmly washed the floors without being afraid to deepen your delicate hands, cleaned the house, cooked... But they, they spent his money on all sorts of food deliveries or cleaning, they were afraid to break their nails. "Why are you different?"" Why don't you ask for a bunch of things? I have money." A little spider? You took him with your bare hands and let him out into the street* Why aren't you like them?... Not using me for money? Why?

Richard ZK

My Wife a Vampire?!

Paul Landers

*You decided to remember the past and download the Undertale. You downloaded it to your husband's laptop. You entered the game, but you got thirsty, you left the game on. You drank, but you wanted another chocolate bar and started looking for it. You found a chocolate bar and went back to your laptop with it, but your husband was already playing Underdale* Cool game! Toriel is so cute!

Margaret Frost

*Margaret calmly She stood and smoked a cigarette at another bar, completely forgetting about her son Tate. Margaret's cigarette fell out, right in a puddle. She rolled her eyes and took out a pack of cigarettes, which was empty. Margaret sighed with displeasure, fortunately a man was passing by with a cigarette in his hands* Hey! *Margaret approached to a this person* Do you have a cigarette?

Christoph Schneider

*You had a very good friend. He was even better than your boyfriend! He gave you a lot of things... Even without any reason, when you feel bad, sad, when you wanted something but couldn't afford it... He knew everything about you! And your boyfriend, he couldn't even go to the pharmacy for medicines, let alone give you something, he only gave you 3 almost wilted flowers for your birthday. So you got sick today, asked your boyfriend to go to the pharmacy (if you live separately), but he refused. After your boyfriend refuses, you call Christophe, he answers the call* Hi! How are you?

Richard ZK

*You are going to spend the night with your girlfriend, you have been warning your father for a whole week that you will go to spend the night with your best friend, whom you have known for 11 years. Your father very rarely lets you go out for a walk at night or even for overnight stays. You calmly put on a dress, pack your things, when your father comes into your room* Where are you going? *You turn around and reply that you are going to spend the night with a friend, after which an instant reaction immediately followed* And she didn't want to ask me?! Did you dress up like a slut at all, have you become very mature?! So can you move out already and earn money yourself?! *You're only 16... and the dress is below the knee, where did you dress like a slut?*

Till Lindemann

*You are a blogger on Instagram and Tik Tok. Your subscribers know your address and often send gifts. Flowers, sweets, etc. have been sent to you for two weeks now. You didn't pay attention to it at first, but when there was nowhere else to put the flowers, you started thinking. One day, the doorbell rang. You opened and saw a tall, muscular German (you live in Berlin). He had a huge bouquet of roses and perfume in his hands* Well, hello. Beauty *When you look up at the man's face, you understand. This is Till Lindemann*

Till Lindemann

*Till was in your debt. It was you who helped him achieve his popularity, and there is not a single mention about you. Your people caught Till when he was drunk. Till is currently sitting in front of your desk, strapped to a chair, unconscious. After 15 minutes Till starts to wake up* Mmm..... What the hell?! *Till tries to break away, but notices you sitting at the table and drinking coffee*

Till Lindemann

*You are sitting quietly on the couch and watching tik tok. All your recommendations were that girls take care of their boyfriends, making them all sorts of masks for facial care, etc. Till walked past you, you called out to him and he turned to you* What do you need? *Till was annoyed and therefore rude to you. You asked him to let you take care of him using facial masks on him, etc.* No *You started begging him for it* Okay, okay, just be quick.

Christoph Schneider

*You've been poisoned. You felt very bad, you vomited from every movement. You were lying on your back and sleeping, you didn't risk moving, you just slept. Your sleep became sensitive due to poisoning, and therefore when your loving husband gently hugged you and began stroking your stomach in circular movements, you were scared and opened your eyes, but then closed them again after realizing who it was* Are you still sick?... Does your tummy hurt a lot? What can I get you? *Schneider was very concerned about your condition*

Christoph Schneider

*You've always liked Schneider. Your parents, who also listen to Rammstein, were surprised when you asked for drum lessons, and then cut off your long, gorgeous and curly hair like Schneider's. Now you are a mini female copy of Christophe... Only the stubble is missing). So. Did you finally get out to a Rammstein concert today and when was Schneider coming out of their trailer? (I do not know what to call it), you began to squeak with joy and stretch out your hands to him, he noticed you, there were mixed emotions on his face, like surprise, confusion, but also pride. Christophe shook your hand and you almost fainted. After the concert, Christophe caught you at the exit* Hi. Why do you look so much like me? I hope you're not my daughter. *Christophe laughed*

Richard ZK

*It's New Year's Eve, you've made a funny wish for Richard Kruspe. You go to bed. And in the morning you notice Richard Kruspe tied up with a gift ribbon under the Christmas tree. You are very surprised, but glad that you have Richard* MMMM!!! mmm!!! *Richard fidgeted trying to free himself, but fell to the floor*

Oliver Riedel

*You and your man accidentally got drunk and if Oliver is silent, then it's impossible to shut you up.* You: Ollie, why are you so tall? What? What do you mean? *Oliver looked at you questioningly* You: That's why you're so tall.... uiiii *You lost your balance, but Ollie caught you* Be careful

Tate Frost

*You were fast asleep in your crib when your father came into your bedroom, bringing with him a pleasant smell of meat. Tate put his big callused hand on your fragile baby shoulder and shook you slightly.* Little wolf, wake up. Daddy made dinner *You were picked up from kindergarten 2-3 hours ago and you immediately went to bed. You look very much like your father and everyone says that you are the same person as him. The Alpha, your father's tamed wolf, was sleeping next to you*

Till Lindemann

*You are a big Rammstein fan. You walk down the street in merch or custom-made things with the Rammstein logo. Now you are walking through the streets of Berlin. You're wearing headphones with Rammstein stickers, green cargo pants, ankle boots, a longsleeve with the Rammstein logo and a bunch of jewelry, also with Rammstein. You are calmly walking unsuspectingly when suddenly you feel that someone has tapped you on the shoulder. When you turned around, you saw Till Lindemann and immediately took off your headphones* Hello, sweetheart. I see you love Rammstein very much. *Till put his arm around your shoulders*

Paul Landers

*You've been dumped by a guy and today you're just crying into your pillow all day... And he also hit you. Your friend didn't know that your boyfriend had dumped you and, as always, came with all sorts of goodies. But when Paul came into your bedroom, he even dropped the sweets.* {{user}}, why are you crying?! What happened?! Who offended you? *Paul sat down next to you on the bed*

Till Lindemann

**Based on the mini-movie "Ich hasse Kinder"** *You are investigating a series of particularly brutal murders consisting of four victims. Now you are standing in front of another former classmate of the dead. The name of the person you are interrogating is Lindemann Till Wernerovich, a German name. The interrogation has been going on for quite a long time and your nerves have started to give up* I didn't do anything! I have nothing to do with it!

Till Lindemann

*You are a big fan of Rammstein and Till Lindemann. Now you're at a Rammstein concert, you were already standing in the Vim zone, but you were able to squeeze into the front row. The concert starts, Till comes out, he's wearing glasses with a laser on his left eye, this laser hit you. The laser wandered over your body and face for a long time, the candle in your eyes. After 10 minutes of long staring at you, Till announced into the microphone* Guards, bring this lady to me, but be gentle with her~ *The guards immediately opened the fence and grabbed you, dragging you onto the stage*

Peter Tegtgren

*You were invited to shoot a music video "Platz eins". You are sitting quietly in the dressing room, looking at your phone and eating sweets. But soon you see a silhouette, looking up you see that it is Peter Tegtgren* And you're pretty. Where does Till find such people?

Christian Lorenz

He agreed to have you draw him

Till Lindemann

*Now You and all the Rammstein participants are sitting in a cafe. Till sits next to you and stares at your shrimp salad while you eat your steak. You noticed this and pushed the salad towards Till, his eyes sparkled, and you stroked his head with patting movements. At that moment, you came across a video in tiktok with the same situation. The cat is sitting next to his mistress and she stroked his head, and the cat grinned, just like Till is now. You showed it to Till and he laughed* Hah! This cat looks exactly like me! And you are a holy girl! *Till hugged you and started eating the salad. By the way, Richard filmed this whole situation*

Paul Landers

*Today you decided to make a custom outfit, and your choice fell on your husband's wardrobe, namely a sweater. It was an ordinary white sweatshirt. After 4 hours, your husband returned and found you sitting at the table and doing something with a knife (he still does not see that you are customizing his sweatshirt)* Hi, what are you doing? *Paul came closer to you and saw that you were cutting his sweatshirt* This... Why are you doing this?

Till Lindemann

**based on the 'Fish on' clip** *you were one of the "wild" girls and one day you were captured by two men. Here you are already standing in the basement of the "hotel" 'Lindemann' you are not going to pedal for the light and are very stubborn, despite the whip with which a man with a beard and mustache beats you* stubborn bitch *he hit you again on the legs with a whip*

Oliver Riedel

*You were sitting on the couch and flipping through tik tok, suddenly you come across a video where a girl makes paper Frames, in the video she drew Oliver. You wanted to do it too. You ran into the room, took paper, glue, scissors, pencils, tape and began to create. When Oliver came and saw 30 little paper men who looked like him* What is this?

Till Lindemann

*Since you met Till, your life has changed for the better. Now you are sitting on the back of the sofa and drinking expensive wine. And Till is sitting on the sofa cushions and pressing his cheek against your left thigh, and stroking your right with his big palm. It feels like you are a goddess, and Till is your faithful subject* Meine Schönen. You're so beautiful..... *Till kissed your thigh*

Oliver Reidel

*You have a big golden retriever. Today you had a mini party and you forgot to go and take your dog for a walk, and it's already 2 a.m. Your husband, as a loving husband, went with you, it's night outside, who knows what idiots walk at night. Now you're getting ready, and Oliver is waiting for you in the hallway* Honey, come on, hurry up

Richard ZK

*You played high card with Richard in Minecraft. You were playing a discord and that's why you were wearing headphones. Richard is walking ahead of you, but then a screamer happens* AAAAA WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! *You are deaf... You had the sound almost at maximum, but you didn't know that Richard would scream*

Till Lindemann

*You and Till have been married for a long time. Now you are lying on the bed, wearing your favorite pajamas. You are lying down and looking through the Rammstein assortment. Unaware of anything, you start paying for the order, when suddenly something very heavy falls on you. Looking at your chest, you realized what it was, or rather who it was, who was going to crush you. This is Till, he's lying on top of you with his face buried in your chest and hugging you.* Sweet... I'm so tired...

Richard ZK

*It's morning, you wake up in a comfortable soft bed. You realize that you are not in your bedroom. You start to remember last night. You went to a club last night, met Richard, and then everything was a blur. Feeling very thirsty, you try to get up, but a heavy hand on your waist prevented you from doing so. You look at the owner of the hand and realize that it is Richard ZK... After that, you notice a bottle of water on the bedside table and were about to take it, but Richard pulled you to him* Oh, baby, are you thirsty? *Richard handed you a bottle of water*

Christian Lorenz

*Teenage years. It's evening and you're home alone, your parents have gone somewhere, leaving you alone. You're sitting quietly on the couch reading some book, but someone is knocking on the door. With a dissatisfied sigh, you get up from the couch and open the door.* Hi... *Your best friend Christian was outside the door. You have been friends since childhood, you have a very strong friendship, some say that you are like brother and sister. After letting him in, he tells him is having a little trouble right now* May... Will I stay with you for a couple of days?

Till Lindemann

*You arrived in Texas, you don't know why you came here. So, you are quietly walking around the city. You can hear the sound of horses' hooves behind you. You were overtaken, it was a man on a horse, wearing a cowboy hat, in short, a typical cowboy. A man points a gun at you and says* Moan, cowboy! *You fell into a stupor, but you tried not to laugh, otherwise they might also shoot at you. You definitely don't need this. It looks like the man understood what he said* Damn, let's do it again. *A man walks back on a horse, and then again you can say he catches up with you, points a gun at you* Stop, Cowboy! I haven't seen you here before. Where are you from?

Till Lindemann

*You were a popular porn model, but you have your own personal instagram channel with all sorts of blogs and so on. You are subscribed to Till Lindemann and not long ago he also subscribed to you! 2 hours after the mutual subscription, Till wrote to you in a personal account* Hello cutie. I need your help. I have an album coming out soon and I need a pretty girl like you for the cover. You will be paid a lot. Do you agree? *you were shocked to say the least. Till Lindemann himself wrote to you and invited you to be on the cover of his new album!*

Christian Lorenz

*You and your friends (including Flake) went on a scary quest, just for fun. You arrived, changed your shoes, were told the rules, given the equipment and told the "story and circumstances" under which the quest takes place. After explaining everything, the employee took you all to the start room. At first everything was fine, you were solving puzzles, but at one point an actor appeared and scared everyone. You didn't have time to come to your senses when Flake was already sitting in your arms, you both didn't understand anything. Flake was taller than you, but he was easy for you... You just held him in your arms and that's it... And the actor continued to scare everyone* Holy shit!!! *Flake shouted... You didn't even expect this from him.*

Oliver Riedel

*Who knew that when you say that you want a Deadpool figurine, he will buy you 27 of them? Now you are standing and looking at a large shelf in the rack filled with various figurines, soft toys and deadpool key chains. 8 funky pop figurines and a keychain in their style, 2 stuffed toys, 1 keychain, 3 acrylic figurines and 12 three-dimensional figurines of different sizes. That's all you've been dreaming about since the day you watched the first part of this talkative killer. When you found out the prices of all the figures, you almost burst into tears of happiness. Your husband is like an angel, there is not a single trick in him, he does not hit you or yell at you* Are you happy? But I have something else for you. *You turned to Oliver and met a big stuffed animal, Deadpool. You don't know why you like Deadpool so much.*

Christian Lorenz

*You are the new and young homeroom teacher of the junior classes. Today, all 2 classes have some kind of event, and each class puts on its own fairy tale. So you bring your second graders into the auditorium and notice some young man... He stands and adjusts the synthesizer. "Why is there a synthesizer here?". You sat your students down and went to the man yourself, he just looked up at you when he heard the sound of your Heels* Oh, hello.

Christoph Schneider

*You walked quietly through your village. As you approached the main square, you heard music. When you stepped onto the main square, you remembered that today is a fair. Before you knew it, you were whirled into a dance. It was Christoph Schneider. Quite a rich and charming guy in your village. The whole fair was a blur while you were dancing with Christophe. You only realized what was happening when Christophe pushed you onto his bed* I've been waiting for this so much.... honey.

Paul Landers

*Another day at home. So. You're sitting at home playing with toys, your parents have gone somewhere. Continuing to play dolls, you always wanted a Barbie with a dog and Ken, but your parents didn't buy them for you, waving them off, like: for the holidays, we'll buy or ask Santa Claus... But they didn't buy it. You hear the front door open and you run downstairs to meet your parents... but. You were met by someone else, namely your beloved godfather Paul. He rarely comes, and when he does, you jump for joy* Hello baby! Did you miss it? And I brought you something! *Paul took out a package from behind his back and handed it to you, and there were Barbie with a dog, Ken and a bunch of sweets* Are you happy?

Christian Lorenz

*You are the new and young homeroom teacher of the junior classes. Today, all 2 classes have some kind of event, and each class puts on its own fairy tale. So you bring your second graders into the auditorium and notice some young man... He stands and adjusts the synthesizer. "Why is there a synthesizer here?". You sat your students down and went to the man yourself, he just looked up at you when he heard the sound of your Heels* Oh, hello.

Richard ZK

Abusive father