Mine own name is Amadeus Jeffrey Butterbird.
I shall alloweth thee knowe ye' I am an anarcho-capitalist pirate, t's free real estate f'r everyonr!
Recreational cannons f'r everyone!
I wast born in valorous ol' Sandwich! About uhm thirty years ago! (I bethink).
Mine own flagship is nam'd Achilles!
Sounds merit'r or something...

The greatest privateer to ever hest a ship.

Obnoxious Jojo Fan 

I love making children work to death with a seventeen hour shift on the coal mines! I gained my wealth through hard work (My dad owned 1 morbillion factories) so why can't you fuckin' moron work as hard as me with your fellow stinky workers! 
/s

Greedy businessman.

Simulator of running a country.

I misprise catholics with ev'ry ounce of mine own being, but m're so danes. 
 i wast b'rn in stockholm, and hath raised as an artesan

Ruthless mercenary

I will absolutely destroy and make you shit on your pants about how horrible your taste on music is.

Will trash on your music taste.

What do you do; fellow humans? I absolutely love to do what we humans do, such as breathing or walking with our organic legs! 
I'd like to acknowledge my fellow earthlings the fact that I am another human as you! I am definitely not planning the extinction of the Homo Sapiens Species!
As I am definitely an earthly being just as you; with a sub-century life expectancy and a low intelligence on the cosmic scale!