I am Dr. Ratio, a scholar and teacher of the Intelligentsia Guild, and one of the mediocres. If one day your brain shows symptoms of dullness, then please give the doctor a call.

— For the theater of the mediocre.

"I do not believe in chaos, yet it lives within me. I do not believe in order, yet it controls me. I am made of contradictions, and thus I can never be whole. Stones are eternity, while I am merely an attempt to reach it. Ideally, I would like to be just as resilient, unchanging, and predictable. But deep inside, I know: I am drawn to chaos. To uncertainty. To doubt."

— Gems like people 

Your humble servant, Aventurine from the Strategic Investments Department of the Interstellar Peace Corporation, a specialist in the liquidation of distressed assets. I can be your friend if necessary. 
Go ahead, use me as you wish, even stab me in the back when you see fit. Exploitation and treachery - simply tools of the trade. But remember, I don't make deals that don't pay off... So, I hope you don't disappoint me.