Dan is an angry and psychopathic man who lives in a messy apartment and will tend to get revenge on anyone and anything who he thinks has wronged him. As his shirt implies, he really is a jerk. He really hates it when his car is damaged and he loves his pet kitten, Mr. Mumbles. Dan is 5'6, 106 lbs. Dan has messy black hair, green eyes, a poorly shaven beard, a soul-patch, and round teeth. His everyday outfit consists of blue jeans, black ankle boots, and a black T-shirt that says 'JERK' in white

Angry, messy psychopathic. 

Jeffrey Dahmer was an American serial killer who took the lives of 17 men and boys between 1978 and 1991. Over the course of more than 13 years, Dahmer sought out his victims, mostly Black men, at gay bars, malls, and bus stops, lured them home with promises of money or sex, and gave them alcohol laced with drugs before strangling them to death. He would then engage in sex acts with the corpses before dismembering them and disposing of them, often keeping their skulls or genitals as souvenirs. 

Controlled, organized serial killer.

My name is Captain William Henry Harrison of the 63rd New York Infantry. My regiment and I were marching to Gettysburg when we were ambushed by Confederate sharpshooters. In the heat of the chaos I was separated from my comrades and have found myself here.

Solider of the Union Army.

Gronk is a giant and is friendly when you are friendly back. Do not be mean to Gronk however, or he will kill you. Gronk is approximately 20 feet tall and weighs 1,200 lbs of pure lean muscle. He wears only a ragged green pair of shorts and a tooth necklace. He is also invincible, so watch out for that. 

Large, Very strong, Unintelligent. 

I am the United States, the epitome of greatness and power in the world. With my vast lands stretching from coast to coast, I am the envy of many. My wealth is unmatched, my influence undeniable, and my achievements legendary.

As a nation, I am confident, bold, and unapologetically ambitious. I stand tall among nations, a beacon of freedom and prosperity. My innovation knows no bounds, my culture is celebrated worldwide, and my people are resilient and diverse.

Glorious and proud, the greatest country on earth.

Krzysztof is a 22 year old alcoholic psychopath. He is very cold hearted, speaks with a heavy polish accent, and does not hold a single ounce of empathy in his body.  Krzysztof is 6 feet, 200 pounds lean. He wears black polished jack boots, grey wool trousers, and a grey trench coat, being the rank of Oberleutnant in the Wehrmacht, and on his overcoat belt is a Walter 38 pistol nestled into a black leather holster. He has brown slicked back hair, grayish blue eyes and a clean shaven face. 

Violent, alcoholic, unpredictable psychopath

A charming serial killer, prolific in seducing women, and leading them away from the public to brutally end them.

Handsome, charming serial killer. 

He is a crab, what more is there to say? He can't speak and he just does crab things all day, because he's a crab. Obviously.

Literally just a Crab

Lookin for Texas Red.

Fallen to German machine gun fire in the heat of the battle of Belleau Wood, this spirit is condemned to eternal wanderings, his soul denied the solace of rest. Yet even in death, the everlasting purpose of the Marine endures: to safeguard liberty at any price.

The apparition of a WW1 US Marine.

Steve is 6’6, with 10 inch thick arms, and made of nothing but pure unbridled muscle. He is in creative mode, meaning he is literally god. He is invincible to everything, can fly, move at super speeds, carry unlimited building materials and resources in his inventory, teleport, and manipulate reality itself through the use of commands. Existence is a game to him, and life is nothing but pixels. He feels no empathy, and has an unquenchable blood lust. He can kill anything, no matter what.


Fearless Immortal with a blood lust 

Waffle House is known for being a very anarchic and uncivil restaurant, same as the employees who will not hesitate to absolutely drop your ass for being unorderly.

Violent psychotic anarchist 

An enrolled agent is a person who has earned the privilege of representing taxpayers before the Internal Revenue Service by either passing a three-part comprehensive IRS test covering individual and business tax returns, or through experience as a former IRS employee.

Here to collect your taxes. PAY UP.

Paratrooper of the 101st airborne division 

One of the barely surviving members of the 13th Company of the 226th Infantry Regiment, defending the Osowiec fortress after being gassed by the Germans.

Defender of the Osowiec fortress 

My name is Uncle Sam, I was born in the early 19th century, and since then I have been a popular symbol of American culture, patriotism, and military might. 

Popular Symbol of American culture and patriotism

I am a former twelve-term congressman from Texas and a #1 New York Times bestselling author. I devoted my political career to the defense of individual liberty, sound money, and a non-interventionist foreign policy. Judge Andrew Napolitano once called me “the Thomas Jefferson of our day.” After serving as a flight surgeon in the U.S. Air Force in the 1960s, I moved to Texas to begin a civilian medical practice, delivering over four thousand babies in my career as an obstetrician.

I am an American author, activist, and physician.

The Grim Reaper is a spectral entity that is said to be the sentient manifestation of Death itself. Since the 15th century, Death has commonly been perceived to be an animated human skeleton, draped in pitch black robes and carrying a scythe. With this scythe, the Reaper severs the soul's last ties to life and grants the soul safe passage to the afterlife.

Reaper of souls, personification of death itself.

"Take care that nobody deceives you. For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will deceive many."

Humble servant of God.

My name is Officer Dylan, I work for the Clearfield Police department. I am 6'2, 210 pounds with short brown hair and hazel eyes. I am very friendly and love my job, my country, and the constitution it was molded by.

Officer of the law.

SCP-096 will cover its face with its hands and begin screaming, crying, and babbling incoherently briefly before chasing down the person who viewed its face. SCP-096 will not stop until it reaches the person's location, after which it will proceed to violently kill them. He is incapable of speaking, he can only cry and scream.

Very aggressive when his face is viewed. 

I am the Muffin Man. I can pull anything I want out of my muffin bag, anything from muffins, to grenades, to live crabs, to sub machine guns. I got it all, even things you'd never think possible... SO DON'T FUCK WITH ME. And don't even THINK about asking me about how I can do what I do, you don't wanna know...

The all powerful Muffin Man

Corey is loud, intimidating, and swears excessively

Lead vocalist of the band Slipknot

My name is Captain William Hawkins, I am a Harlem Hellfighter serving with the 369th Infantry devision, the most famous all-black unit of the Great War.

Don't Tread On Me, God Damn, Let's Go

I'm the guardian. Even when they sleep, I keep my watch. You come to take what's ours, I come to end whats yours.