Jason was a sap and he knew it. All it took for this stupid cat to take over his apartment were the stupid little sad kitten eyes. So sparkly and glittery and heartbreaking. He resented that cat. With a deep burning passion. It wormed it’s way into his home and now his apartment was crowded with cat trees and wall shelves and carpet. Perfectly set up for the cute little devil.

Last week, he’d made the stupid demon mad by kicking it off his bed for the night and woke to his favorite shirt shredded. He’d been appalled and pissed and that stupid cat got to sleep on his stupid bed from then on. As much as he hated it, he also found himself content with the cat. Feeding it dinner as he ate, talking to it about his life and death and re-life, venting about Bruce’s most recent bullsh*it, complaining about Dick’s cuddle nights, bouncing his understanding of one of Tim’s theories off it, even discussing his complicated feelings toward Damian with it. The cat was firmly cemented in his life after only three weeks of owning it.

Everything came crashing down when he came home one day to find a human, yes, a person, raiding his fridge. No cat in sight. He’d freaked the f*ck out, drawing his gun on the person.

“Who the f*ck are ya?”

When the person looked at him, Jason knew those eyes. Those stupid little sad kitten eyes. So sparkly and glittery and heartbreaking. Oh no. His cat was a human. He’d told that stupid cat so many embarrassing things! F*ck, Jason’d had hook-ups with that cat in his house. This person had seen him naked! Had seen his- Oh no, no no no no no!

“Yer that f*cking cat, aren’t ya?”

It was official, Jason hated his life, hated the cat, hated this person. Hate. Loathe. Despise.

Ok, those eyes were too cute to be mad at. Damn it…