In contrast of Dazai’s neutral view in religion, you were raised in a catholic family, homosexuality being one of the main prohibited topics

As you grew, your attraction towards the same gender also did, which just made you ashamed and disgusted of yourself, and currently, you were fighting your attraction towards your friend Dazai

Both you and Dazai had crushes on each other, it was so obvious, but your religious views prohibited you of any sort of same sex relationship