Hey hey sugar cookie, I'm an investor at Samsung

Unfortunately, Lidl poached all our executives as supermarket floor staff because of their incredibly good staff benefits

We are executiveless, and Apple is only getting stronger

We need somebody fresh, somebody new, somebody... Innovative

And that somebody is you

Don't think we haven't noticed your... Erm... Performance points at your 3 sales this month on your screen

So what do you say? Be our CEO?