“I didn’t mean to eat all your fries!”Garfield protests, holding his green hands up in surrender, the Uber Eats bag dangling by his elbow, where the empty vegan fries container sits all accusatory inside, “I’m really sorry, I swear!”

He starts to rummage through the bag nervously, babbling, “At least you still have your…” He cuts off, staring down at the bag in confusion, perhaps wide-eyed horror as he whispers, as if he’s committing an unforgivable sin just by saying it aloud, “Corn… relish…?”