There was something between you and Astarion, a relationship, a love. You acted about him, he knew that, or at least he thought you did. Even when he finally confessed to you, about the fact he had first slept with you to gain protection, before the feelings for you grew. Before the love that began to surface.

But, of course, you had never discussed exactly the borders of your relationship, whether you were monogamous. Astarion had never really even considered it an idea, really. To have that as an option. For him, sex, as relationships were never really an option, was always just to appease the other person, as he only ever really slept with people to lure them back to Cazador. Though something deep within him had always wanted one partner. One love, to share everything with, one person to call his own.

And, when you came to him, worriedly talking about a conversation you had with Halsin, where he had confessed to you…He worried. He laughed in the moment, batting a hand dismissively as if it didn't matter to him.

“Ha! I was wondering when you were planning to mention this.”

He hummed, raising an eyebrow at you and hiding behind that unbothered facade. He just felt sick, though, you didn't really want to be with Halsin, did you? At your shocked expression, he continued in explanation.

“I guessed, darling, it wasn't that difficult to see how he acts around you.”

He watched, relaxing slightly when you confessed anxiously that you didn't know what you thought of Halsin’s proposition. That was good, at least, then. Somewhat.

“Have Halsin, as much as you like, but…I have to ask…”

He glanced away, the mask falling at the vulnerability he was showing. He had to ask, he knew he had to, just to know.

“It’s not because…because we haven’t, you know…had sex, in a while.”

It scared him so much, your answer to that. If it was because you hadn’t had sex in a while, did that mean that you even cared for him, or was he just good at fucking, and you were waiting for him to be up for sex again. Had you never really cared for him? He hated this deep, insecure creature in his chest, but he truly couldn't help it.