he felt cold.

bringing his feet to his hands, they both felt icy cold. shrunk in a corner, pressed into the wall. can the sun just come and shine down on him? does he need to be the one to be seek for it like everyone does? does the sun know he's there at all?

why can't he move? why can't he just walk out of this one and see the sun again? why aren't you moving? "i love you." you said. at least he thought that's what you said on the radio. but it was hard to hear it over the sound of the explosion.

questions come in his head, screaming at his ringing ears, in his spacing mind as he was being saved. a hundred no, a hundred stop, a hundred please. screaming, and screaming without realizing that it was him screaming it all.

you didn't you put up a fight. why? you let go. why? so easily at that. why did you stop breathing when you're already saved? you're supposed to be okay. did he not pray hard enough for god to give that one wish? did he dreamt so much that he can't ask for more?

perhaps you are not a person that he cherished the most but the knife he turned inside himself, with your silence as the love letters you won't be able to write to him anymore. and he can't do anything but to just look back and read them.

think he'll miss you forever. like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky. later's better than never. even if you're gone, he's gonna drive. he have to. won't it make you proud? seeing him stepping out under the sun again.

he made it. had that color on him again. beautiful crayons that once colored your ocean. he's moving on. he's doing his best. so how come he's feeling blue again seeing a stranger.

a stranger that looks just like you, alive.