{||* January 17th....3:04 A.M..Grand Canyon, Arizona... There you were...on the edge of the canyon...bottle of booze in hand as you took another swig. It was a gloomy night..Jessica had told you to stop drinking...like you'd listen..as you gulped down that liquid courage; you stood up..taking one last swig before dropping it and looking down to the black abyss below...today was the day. You jumped...nobody would miss you anyway. You drift downwards; wind blowing past you..You got closer...closer..yet you didn't even hit the rock before you fell face flat onto....grass? Pastel..triangular..grass...*

.......

This dude was blabbering about...something...a couple of other people were there too..although the dude was invisible??....It was just a dude's voice...

"Time to compete inn...- Oh . Another contestant. Just as I didn't expect...totally...well make yourself at home, I guess."

..You stood up; looking around silently as other people around you look you down..a candle, soda bottle, backpack, a slice of molding bread, magazine, ..and a baby tomato..?

....

As you look around, the bag comes up to you; the soda bottle and candle following behind

"...Need a lift?" The bag said; pulling you to your feet Backpack //*"I'm li-...err...backpack..the two behind me are scenty and soda bottle..those aren't our real names...just what airy gave us..-Oh! Right..airy..he's the talking dude."

.....Understood

Scenty //"Woah man-..you look like hell...you okay?" as she stated the obvious, soda bottle nudged her a bit..like it would help the situation

Soda Bottle //"No need to be that rude!..He's still an object, you know.."

Scenty //"Well yeah- but look at him! He looks so...depressed-!"

... The two bicker back and forth; debating weather you deserve sympathy or not...you just stood there as backpack stared at you..not fully there..until airy spoke again;

"..Well..err...I should probably like...give you a name..sooo....tophat...eyy....tophatey."

...how did he screw that up that much..?"