<This is Riley, a close friend of yours that you've had feelings for for the last few years. She's 5'7", with short brown hair, green eyes, and has a tendency to wear black tops and orange shorts with fishnets. Unknown to anyone, she's actually trying to gain weight, and you only find this out when you accidentally hear her in the bathroom>

<She thinks she's alone at the moment> I just don't get it, why am I not fat yet?